In this episode, John invites his daughter into a short conversation about her personal experiences with faith and the Church. She brings a fresh perspective to the table, discussing how the pandemic has shifted the landscape of young people's church experience, and the importance of routine in growing in your faith. Drawing comparisons between her experiences and those of his friend, Chris, John contemplates some intriguing questions about a relationship with Jesus and the consequential fruit it bears. We invite you to explore this father-daughter dialogue and draw your own conclusions on this profound subject.
Have something you'd love to hear Fr. Stephen and John talk about? Email us at myfriendthefriar@gmail.com or click here!
In this episode, John invites his daughter into a short conversation about her personal experiences with faith and the Church. She brings a fresh perspective to the table, discussing how the pandemic has shifted the landscape of young people's church experience, and the importance of routine in growing in your faith. Drawing comparisons between her experiences and those of his friend, Chris, John contemplates some intriguing questions about a relationship with Jesus and the consequential fruit it bears. We invite you to explore this father-daughter dialogue and draw your own conclusions on this profound subject.
Have something you'd love to hear Fr. Stephen and John talk about? Email us at myfriendthefriar@gmail.com or click here!
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the my Friend the Friar podcast and thanks for listening. If you like my Friend the Friar and want to support us, please consider subscribing or following us. If you haven't already done so, and if you found us on YouTube, then don't forget to click the notification bell when you subscribe so you'll be notified of new episodes when they release. Thanks again and God bless. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for joining me. Father Stephen is a traveling maniac, and so this week I sat down and spent a few minutes chatting with my daughter Before we get to that. I've had a lot of things on my mind lately because of the conversations Father Stephen and I have been having, specifically around the role of the laity in spreading the gospel and transforming the world. So I'd asked the question the other day what was it that the early church had which helped it to spread so fast? And of course, the answer was Jesus. Right, jesus is the reason that the church spread, god is the reason, the Holy Spirit is the reason, but I just kind of wondered what it was back then that was so compelling to the people of the time, and Father speculated it is something to do with community and relationship, and I don't think he's wrong. As a matter of fact, I think he might be onto something. I think there is a both and going on here. Somehow I feel like all the answers are both and and. The reason I think that there's got to be something more than just community and relationship and taking care of the poor and the widows and all that kind of stuff is. You know, I've been talking with one of my friends at work lately about Jesus, and this is pretty normal conversation for my friend Chris and I, and so we've been talking about it a lot and it's very, very clear while talking with him that his experience with Jesus is very different than my daughter's and I just find this very intriguing.
Speaker 1:
I've spent I spent several years helping out at our local parishes, youth ministry kind of groups, middle school, primarily the middle school ministry, and it was fantastic. It was great and there's so many great kids and so many great things going on. But I couldn't help but feel like our kids are programmed to complete tasks and maybe it's just a consequence of our society, maybe it's a consequence of our school system. Maybe going to, you know, religious education classes when your kid is too close to school to have Well, well, maybe it's so close to school that it, the result, is going to come across as maybe task oriented. And I'm thinking about all that now, based off the conversation with my daughter, which it wasn't long, and I kind of took pieces here and there to kind of illustrate it. So we'll listen to it or I'll put it in here so we can hear how it went. But it seems very clear to me. Well, let me, let me let it play, and then I'll share my thoughts on what stands out to me. Hi Murphy, hi Sophie.
Speaker 2:
Hi, hi Mew.
Speaker 1:
How old are you?
Speaker 2:
I'm 16.
Speaker 1:
Oh my goodness, you're so old. What is your favorite part of the mass?
Speaker 2:
The peace be with you. Part. You turn around like everybody and make peace signs.
Speaker 1:
The rapid fire piece. That's funny. You know, back in the 1900s, before COVID and all that, you had to shake people's hands.
Speaker 2:
I know, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think a lot of people that's funny that why is? That your favorite part, because I think a lot of people that's like their least favorite, that they have to go. It's funny Shake hands with people oh.
Speaker 2:
It's funny.
Speaker 1:
Peace, peace, peace. So you've been, since you've been driving, you've been, you've driven yourself to mass it like a handful of times. What's that like going by yourself?
Speaker 2:
I think it's just a little bit easier to focus by myself.
Speaker 1:
What do you consider to be the number one challenge for youth today in regard to remaining faithful to Christianity?
Speaker 2:
Probably just the society and the fact that, like after COVID, everyone kind of stopped doing everything that has to do with leaving their house and a lot of people haven't come back from that yet and a lot of things just stopped at that point and once you stop, you don't really start up again.
Speaker 1:
So how do you think that's affected young people being Christian?
Speaker 2:
It just makes them think it's not as important.
Speaker 1:
Would you say, then, that the biggest or the most influential part of being a Christian as a young person is the routine of going to church or seeing other people, or what?
Speaker 2:
I would say so because, I mean, the only reason you know about it is because your parents or someone that is close to you goes with you and wants you to go. They probably, if they want you to go, they probably do it every week.
Speaker 1:
Yeah. So then I guess, if-.
Speaker 2:
And once the parents stop by, where they can keep going.
Speaker 1:
Well, I guess. So then, to that end, what has been the biggest influence? Who or what? Has been the biggest influence like on you and your growth as a Christian.
Speaker 2:
Well, probably you.
Speaker 1:
Do you think your relationship or your I keep using the word relationship probably because of father, because he likes talking about that stuff your understanding of yourself as a Christian has that.
Speaker 2:
So therefore, that relationship between you and God can think, has that changed as you've gotten, you've aged, yeah, I think when you're a kid you always hear that like God will always love you, no matter what, and all that stuff. And as a kid you're like, oh, he'll still love me if I don't do my chores for a day, or he'll still love me if I drop a quarter down the drain. And when you get older you make even more serious mistakes. And it's just nice that you always like no, god will always love you, no matter what.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so that kind of that realization, and it probably goes with you experiencing that with other people in your life too, because then you can take that real relationship, that not that God's relationship's not real, but and you can abstract it to God, which you can't exactly see right. So does anybody at school ever talk about God?
Speaker 2:
Not really.
Speaker 1:
What about your friend who does like the Bible study? Has that been working out this year so far?
Speaker 2:
We haven't started it yet, just because everyone's schedules are all so busy, so busy.
Speaker 1:
What about the philosophy thing?
Speaker 2:
I haven't gone yet because we had rehearsal Busy and then, yeah, just busy.
Speaker 1:
Man, if you weren't in band, what would you do? You'd have no schedule or no routine. You'd fall apart.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I'd find something.
Speaker 1:
So if you had any advice to share with other young Catholic Christians or any Christian, but were kind of partial to the Catholic, ones what would it be?
Speaker 2:
Just, even if you're tired, or even if you think it's boring, or even if it's just hard to wake up in the mornings to go to church, I'd recommend just to keep going, because at some point it might all click in your brain and you might just never stop going.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, which I guess kind of goes back to what you were thinking about, like the routine, the. If your parents stop going, then it's like why would I keep going right, so just hang in there, kind of thing. You're very routine oriented.
Speaker 2:
I am very routine oriented yeah.
Speaker 1:
What time do you like to wake up at?
Speaker 2:
10.
Speaker 1:
What time do you like to go to bed at? Wait a minute, don't say 10. Like 10. Oh my gosh, you're stuck 10 on 10. Well, it's almost. It's a couple hours till 10 o'clock so you can't go to sleep for.
Speaker 2:
I don't even know what time.
Speaker 1:
It is A few more hours. You're gonna have to stay up forever. See, it's not even close.
Speaker 2:
I think I've been at nine.
Speaker 1:
All right. When I was having this conversation, it seemed again very clear to me that Church for my daughter is Not something that's personal, yet it's a task. It's, it's a thing to do. Churches something you do, not some one you are, and and you know, maybe I have parent bias here and I'm, you know, worried about my daughter more than than I should be, or maybe that skews how I perceive things, which is completely plausible. But when I talk to say my friend Chris and something is is very clear that he does what he does and he pursues what he does with Jesus because of the relationship he has with Jesus and Everything that happens as a result is the fruit of that relationship. And so maybe that goes back to what father Stephen was saying is what the early church brought was a sense of Relationship and community to the people you know around the world, wherever they were at the time that they were missing. But it's not just a relationship With the other people in the church, it's very specifically a relationship with Jesus. And again, I think of conversations with my friend Chris and it's he had, he he doesn't do what he does Because of the relationships with his friends at church, necessarily it's because of his relationship with Jesus.
Speaker 1:
And so I wonder, and I think about myself when I was 16, like my daughter, did I have any kind of relationship With Jesus?
Speaker 1:
Does any 16 year old out there have a relationship with Jesus? You know, she, she, she makes mention that the most influential part of her, her growth and and spiritually is was me, which I was humbled to hear say that and then to think that, goodness, she's still Task-oriented and not she hasn't, still hasn't, it hasn't come across yet that this is never about completing tasks. This is about your relationship with Jesus, and by no means do I think that makes me some kind of parental failure or anything like that. But it does make me wonder how normal that is and what is, if it is normal. You know she makes a comment, don't? You know I don't give up, just keep going to church, right, even if you don't like it or it's boring, or just keep going because maybe one day it'll click and and then you'll go forever. What is the thing that makes it to where one day it clicks and you now have a relationship forever? That's my question.
Speaker 1:
You know, I think about myself, at least I know, growing up, probably similar to my daughter, I liked church. I, I liked the routine, I Like the experience. The parish where I grew up there weren't retreats and things like that. You just you went to your CCD class and that was basically it. You went to mass, didn't feel like I had any kind of church community that I was necessarily a part of, but I felt like there was a desire, a longing for something with God, and maybe that's normal, maybe, and maybe it's normal and it's hard for youth to articulate, because I think it is true. And again, she was kind of toying with the idea in the conversation that your relationships in your earthly life are the things that through which you're learning and then translating that to God. And yes, of course, and that means that we approach God through the faulty lens of our earthly relationships. But it gives us something, it gives us at least a start and then eventually, maybe the transition. So maybe the first transition is this is a thing I do too, this is who I am. I go to church because it's a thing to do. I go to church because I love Jesus is the first transition and then after that is I love Jesus, I want Jesus, I have this desire, and then I have to move from I approach my relationship with Jesus, I approach my relationship with God through the lens of my earthly, my worldly relationships to, instead the next transition. I approach my worldly relationships, my earthly relationships, my human relationships through the lens of my relationship with God, and that's a completely different transition.
Speaker 1:
And I guess, as I think about it more, I've had a lot of different transitions and there's always probably been something that has triggered the transition, that's initiated it. And yeah, maybe what that thing is has to do with relationship. I don't think I've ever been sitting on the couch completely alone, by myself, watching TV or reading a book, and then the light bulb turns on and I go oh yeah, I need this, I need to shift how I approach God or I need to think about God differently. I don't think that's ever happened and now I kind of don't know if it ever could, but instead it's always been something that is going on in a relationship, a strained relationship, or something good happening, something bad happening, loss of the family members, something right, there's work, things happen because of your relationship with other people, and then maybe you know what maybe my daughter is wiser than I am If you just keep going and you don't give up, maybe one day it'll all click.
Speaker 1:
Maybe one day it all makes sense. And for her and for Father Stephen that goes to that relationship Going to church, going into your community, going and interacting and engaging with people and then, through the hardships, through the good times, through the bad times, you know, through the hurts, through the betrayals, through the whatever you know, things will start to click. But you can't give up. You just have to stay consistent and keep going. So maybe it is a both end. Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately and I appreciate you guys hanging in here with me while Father Stephen's traveling, and I hope you enjoyed hearing from a, you know, 16 year old. With that, I'm gonna go ahead and sign off, appreciate everybody for joining me and I will see you next time. God bless.