My Friend the Friar
A podcast where we learn about our faith and share what it takes to live a Catholic Christian life through conversations and contemplations with my friend the friar, a Discalced Carmelite Priest.
My Friend the Friar
Fleeting Joy, Our Salvation, and Healing with Chris Colleps
In this episode, John and Chris talk about finding joy in good times, difficult times, and trusting in God to provide comfort. We open up about healing and redemption through Christ, drawing parallels between personal struggles and the suffering of Jesus on the cross. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of finding profound transformation through faith.
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Speaker 2:I'm going to have a chord.
Speaker 1:Is that working?
Speaker 2:Bonus Bonus. Thanks again and God bless. Yeah, bonus, I don't remember anything about those guys? Me neither.
Speaker 1:That was fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was fun. We were talking about the Jonas Brothers. There's a. When we drive to Padre and we go to Padre, there's a Jonas Brothers song. I don't it's like I don't remember the words or anything like that, but when we're driving over the bridge to get to the island, that's what the kids want to play on the radio. We roll the windows down and they just jam that song all the way over the bridge and it's like the time that it takes to see. It's like perfect timing.
Speaker 2:We start on the bridge. They start it and we go over the bridge and by the time we get to the end of the bridge the song's over. So it's like that's so funny.
Speaker 1:I don't know any jonas brother song.
Speaker 2:Yeah I couldn't tell you what it's called. I couldn't, I, I could not sing one lyric of it to you right now. I just know the, the, the beat of it you know, I hear it in your brain that's all I know. I mean, we can't hear the lyrics anyway, because the ocean and the waves yeah, and windows down.
Speaker 2:that's all you hear. But I can hear the music and so they love. When we go to Padre and we drive over the bridge, they like listening to that that's funny To that song. Where do y'all go?
Speaker 1:Like South Padre. Yeah, we go to.
Speaker 2:South Padre. Yeah, we go Like we alternate our vacations.
Speaker 1:We go to South Pad padre and then we go on a cruise, like every other year so, yeah, I've never been to south padre, never been on a cruise either, but I grew up on like kind of northern padre yeah, right, so oh, okay yeah, so going when I, when I would go to padre, it's, it's not like south padre, it's not, it's not, but you still cross, you still cross a bridge to get there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And there's still salt water and it's hot. Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 2:I know it's definitely hot. We don't. That's one of the things we do. We don't go to the beach until after six o'clock at night, really, oh yeah, we don't go to the beach during the day.
Speaker 1:We just don't. What do you do Again? I've never been to South Pond. What do you do?
Speaker 2:Well, one, we play a lot of games in the condo. We have a lot of games, we like games. We just hang out. You know, take a lot of naps. When I'm on vacation, I like to nap and we usually get a place with a pool and the kids love to go in the pool. Do y'all?
Speaker 1:like rent a house or Airbnb.
Speaker 2:And it has a pool. So we do that and then we love the local life around there. Man, we go and there's a sea turtle rescue down there that every time we go down there, we adopt a new sea turtle. So I'm like, the parent of like 10 sea turtles. That's funny. So, um, yeah, we do that. And then, um, we love the food down there. We spend a lot of money on food.
Speaker 1:I love the like. Yeah, that's so, cause growing up in in Corpus Christi is like there's nothing nice about Corpus. Yeah, like at all. Everything is like that. Yeah, like at all. Everything is like that. Everything is the washed out sun beet, salt beet kind of gray tinge to like everything. Yeah, but there's something about the food.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Something about see, and I guess, growing up down there, you would get there at sunrise and then you're out there all day long just kind of cooking, baking, yeah, and then, and you might be fishing, or you might just be swimming or playing in the water or volleyball or whatever but then in the evening, because you've been out there all day long you go home, wash all the salt and the sand and stuff off right, get kind of de-crispy and you just go to sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just so good yeah kind of de-crispy and uh, and you just go to sleep. Yeah, it's just so good, yeah, and so that's, that's okay. So one of the one of the things that I love the most about going to and being in the middle of the ocean on a cruise is one of the things I do every time we go is like, when it's like two o'clock, 2 30 in the morning, there's nobody on the beach.
Speaker 2:There's people out there, they're going crab hunting and stuff like that, but it's not crowded yeah and so I go out there and I stand with my, with my feet in the water, letting the waves come up, and I just look at the vastness of the ocean and I just think, man, how small I am. And just this little speck of me and the vastness of the, the universe, you know? Yeah, and it's, I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but to me that's as close to God as I've ever been. I love going down there because and it's it's every time we go and it's every night that we're there I'm there two, two, 33 o'clock in the morning and I stand out there and I just it makes you realize how awesome God is.
Speaker 1:The beach at night or well, and when you're far enough out and there's no light pollution, like here in Dallas, you can't see anything. You can't see anything you can see like three stars, exactly, but at the beach at night, it's just everything is there. Yeah, and it's crazy. And that's not even like if you went out in the middle of the desert somewhere. That's even more amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But yeah, we used to. Every now and then we would do like bonfires growing up and stuff. Well, like when I was in high school, like our friends and stuff, but going to the beach at night it's quiet. Going to the beach at night it's quiet, it's like you're saying it's not crowded you, just the sound of the waves constantly. But it's, you're right.
Speaker 1:It's just vast and it's vast out in front of you and it's vast above you and it's. It does make you feel small, but it's. It's one of those things where it's, I guess, yeah, it makes you it's like how awesome is this universe we live in, that God made this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, and I always think too, like I don't know the percentage or anything like that, but we have like 90-something percent of the ocean is undiscovered, right, like 90% of it. We have no idea what's in there. Yeah, but God does, let's get your mic back a little bit, but God does, yeah, god no idea what's in there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but God does let's get your mic back a little bit but God does. Yeah, god knows exactly what's in there, god knows everything. And and it's just crazy that, no matter how much we try, as humans, to understand God's creation, we just never will. We just won't, can't do it, and I think it's okay. But we get so wrapped up in, it's not okay, we have to, that we forget about. Just step back and enjoy it. And that's one of the reasons why I go is because when I'm on vacation, man, I don't worry about nothing. Dude, I really don't. I don't get mad.
Speaker 2:I can be in traffic on vacation, I'm okay, but if I get out here on 35 right here, 635 right here and I'm in traffic and I turn into a sailor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, you know.
Speaker 2:You know, but when I'm on the beach or I'm out there and again, just being on the because when you're on a cruise, you can't turn around and see condos and all that yeah, you see the cruise ship, but man, you're out there and every time all the way around, that cruise ship is just nothing but ocean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, and it's just it's.
Speaker 2:It's so awesome to realize that the same God this is why I say I've never been closest to God being out there the same God that made all that, cared enough to make me, cared enough to mold me and breathe his life into me so that I can be alive, but he's still worried about all that and me, this little speck in this universe.
Speaker 2:He cared enough to give me life and to be there every step of the way, whenever I was hurting and the pain that I was going through and all the stuff that I've been through in my life. He was always there. Even when I doubted him and even when I didn't want him to be there, he was still there and being something about being in that ocean, man, it just it brings that back, it brings it all there. And then, like during the day, we usually sit on the balcony and we can see the ocean and the waves come in, and it's so cool to look at the waves on the beach and and when they come in, because they don't come in the same length at every spot yeah, some spots they come way in and then some spots they barely come in.
Speaker 2:But it's the same beach. Yep, you know, and I look at that in my life like my life is the same beach. I've been living the same life my whole, but at different times. The waves and tides come in way harder and way more vast and way more, more more controlling, or whatever you want to call it. And then if I walk through that and I continue on that beach, you know, walk in the same way at some point I'm going to get to a point to where the waves don't come up so much, and then I've got, I've got, I've got a decent amount of sand under my feet to where I'm okay and I'm not worried about those sucking me back into the vastness of the ocean, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, I think I was telling you this last time that I was reading an article, and we do this all the time with each other. I've read just this, like I read a two-page article and I remember a snippet of it right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so one of these snippets of this article was the story about the cow and the bull. Right, oh, yeah, and so, um, a cow, when it, when it, when it knows the storm is coming, oh, the cow and the, the cow and the buffalo. Buffalo, not the cow and the bull, the cow and the buffalo. When a cow knows the storm is coming, it'll run away from the storm, but it ends up being in the storm longer because it's trying to run away from it and it's actually running with it. The buffalo sees the storm and the buffalo runs right towards it because he knows that if he runs towards that storm, on the other side of it there's not a storm the storm's only going to last so long yeah
Speaker 2:that's kind of what I feel like the the waves on the beach are is, if you just keep walking, because if you, if you try to, if you turn around and start walking into the ocean, what are you going to do? You're going to end up in the ocean. You're going to drown because you're not a fish. But if you walk that path, you just keep walking that path where that wave comes up, and then you just keep walking. Well, eventually that wave is going to come down and then you're going to be on a part where there's not a wave. And so that's just to me.
Speaker 2:It shows the beauty of of God in our life and how, yeah, he's, he's. You're going to go through. You're going to go through some stuff. You're going to have some waves and you're going to have some storms and you're going to have have some, some knockdown drag outs with yourself. You're going to have some knockdown drag outs with God. But, man, when you get on the other side of that, if you're willing, if you're willing to come on the other side of that and you're willing to use that to propel you to who God really wants you to be, man, it's powerful. It's powerful.
Speaker 2:And again, we talked a little bit about kids and how they handle it and how adults handle it and how they handle it and how adults handle it. And you know, the older I get, the more I realize that it's the battles that I've fought in my life and the struggles and the strifes that I've fought in my life. It makes it easy to enjoy the good stuff, man. It makes it easy to the good is gooder. That's what I tell my kids. The good is gooder, the good is gooder.
Speaker 1:That's what I tell my kids. The good is gooder.
Speaker 2:And the good is good.
Speaker 1:Yeah With with with God man you ever just stand there, um, right on the edge of the water where it's coming up around your feet, and the sand is wet enough that you just keeps kind of sinking down.
Speaker 2:I love that man, I love that. I love that man, I love that.
Speaker 1:I love sinking in the sand and then you're like fighting, trying to get up, because you can kind of shift your feet back and forth and sink a little bit further until, like you're saying, you got to like pull your leg out or your foot out. Yeah, yeah. I haven't been to the beach in golly years. We haven't been.
Speaker 2:We always have something going on and it's uh, for for us, especially like my daughter, because she's in band and all these things there's always something going on in the summer, always something, and so we've just, we've, we've just been neglecting it for so long, like making that time to relax and to vacate.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to vacate because you vacate when you vacation, yeah, right, so, but yeah, we, we, I'm the same way. I've got four kids and they all have something to do and got one in college and one about ready to go to college and they band and they wrestle and their theater and everything going on but, you know, for the longest we didn't take them on vacations because we let those things dictate.
Speaker 2:You know our lives. And then at some I don't remember when it was, it was quite a few years back we were like, look, we're going to at least take a week.
Speaker 2:And if you're going to miss a wrestling tournament, if you're going to miss a band concert, if you're going to miss something, they're just going to have to deal with it. Because the time that we make together I'm going to tell you some of the best moments of my life are driving to Padre, because we play a game. It's called ABC Improv and my daughter was in theater and she brought it to us, and so we take turns coming up with the scene and give each other characters and give each other roles, and we say action. And then at the very beginning I'm usually the driver, so it starts with me A. So I have to come up with a line in the story as my character with an A. It has to start with.
Speaker 2:A and the next person is B, and it has to just continue A, B, C, D all the way through the alphabet. You got to tell the story, and you got to tell a story using the alphabet, and some of the best moments of my life are those memories in that van and those stories and the stuff that my kids come up with with the letters that they're given, and like Q, is one of the hardest. Most of the time it's quiet, but it has to make sense in the story.
Speaker 1:right, it's got to make sense in the story right, it's gotta make.
Speaker 2:It's gotta make sense in the story and it's like quickly or quiet or something like that. But some I mean one of the times they yelled out quebec and it's like it doesn't make any sense, but it's funny this is funny and so, yeah, that's why we we said, okay, you'll miss a wrestling tournament yeah, this is worth it.
Speaker 1:this, this is worth it, this is worth it, this is worth it, this is worth it. Man, it's funny. I literally just got a speaking of my daughter and bands and all that stuff. I just got a message. My daughter is now for her senior year, will be the drumline captain.
Speaker 2:Awesome.
Speaker 1:For their percussion group.
Speaker 2:That is awesome.
Speaker 1:So we're probably not doing anything this summer.
Speaker 2:Because she's kind of Because she's captain yeah.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, it definitely. It makes you think it's like it's such a good, it's such a good lesson to learn from you in that right there, because if you don't make the time, it's going to be gone, like she's going to be senior, yeah, she's not going to be a little girl anymore, Right. And so it's like every opportunity should be met with respect to how fleeting it is, right. Yeah, because like you'll never have that moment again, never. And so it's like watch my Little Ponies for the 15th time. Absolutely, it doesn't matter. Watch it, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because like you'll never have that moment again Never, and so it's like watch my Little.
Speaker 1:Ponies for the 15th time. Absolutely, it doesn't matter. Watch it Right, stay up all night long, knowing you got to get up and go to work the next day. Whatever, do it, because you're never going to have those chances again.
Speaker 2:You're not. And the hardest, one of the hardest things I ever had to do is leave my daughter at Ole Miss, knowing that I'll never forget the moment. And I'm about to do it again here in a couple of months because I'm going to leave my second daughter at Ole Miss. Thank God she chose Ole Miss with her older sister, right? But I'm thinking in my head going back to that moment where we spent the weekend with her and we moved her in and it was exciting and it was awesome and it was. I'm so proud of her, you know, and all this.
Speaker 2:But I knew that I had to cherish every moment there because I knew that it was going to come to an end and that Sunday evening was coming and I knew that we were going to have to drive back and we were going to have to leave and she had, uh, there there's like this little group, an empower group that she joined, uh, to make friends, it's like a friend's group and all that stuff and they had something going on Sunday evening and I so wanted to be like no, you're not going to that group, this is, these are the last hours that we have with you. You're not going to that group. This is.
Speaker 2:These are the last hours that we have with you you're not going to the group, yeah, but I remember, distinctly remember, and I'm hugging her and I gave her a note that that, uh, I wrote her and we're walking out of the, out of the dorm room and, uh, we were all hungry, we hadn't eaten in a while, uh, since lunch, and this was probably I don't know probably around 5, 30, something like that, and the student union was still open. And we're like man, the student union is still open. They have, uh, um, chick-fil-a in the student union. Let's go get something to eat. Well, I ate panda express, but I remember going in there and getting something to eat and I couldn't eat. I was crying, I couldn't eat my food, but but God is so good. God is so good Because I look up on the balcony and I see my daughter with her friend group.
Speaker 1:Oh man, they're in the same place.
Speaker 2:They're there. They went to the student union and I got to see her being happy and laughing and hanging out. But God knew I needed that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Nobody else knew I needed that, but God knew that I needed to see her one more time being happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because, as a dad, you leave them there and they're like, oh, they're going to be miserable and they're not going to know what to do. And but I was sitting there and I was, I had my head down and I was trying to eat my noodles from Panda and my teriyaki chicken or whatever it was, and I kind of just leaned back in my chair and I looked up and she was on the second floor in a balcony and she was smiling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was like, oh, my baby's going to be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and it was just, I knew it was God, I knew he was just like, it's okay, I got her. You know, she's going to go through some, she's going to have some hard times, some stuff's going to happen, you know. But I got her, you know, just trust me, right, yeah, and so there was just, it was good.
Speaker 1:There was this, so I listened to this other podcast, pints with Aquinas, and most people who listen to Catholic podcasts know Pints with Aquinas. It's really, really big and I'd recommend you go check it out too.
Speaker 1:Anyway, he was talking to this one guy a few episodes ago and I forget exactly what they were talking about, but he's saying he does this little thought experiment and it stuck with me. And the thought experiment was that if there was a time machine that you could go into and it would take you back and you'd be able to see a moment in your life, right, yeah, but and I'm probably messing this up too, but there's something about the experiment to where, when you go back, it's not a pleasant moment.
Speaker 2:So what if?
Speaker 1:like you really, really, really wanted to see your wife right, like maybe she passed away you know you're an old man and stuff, so you can get in there and you can go back, and but when you see your wife it's not gonna be a good moment.
Speaker 1:Could you still be present in that moment, like that's the most beautiful, joyful moment of your life because you're finally getting to see her again, kind of thing and so so, like you know, we have these little moments, like you're saying with your daughter right and and like for me it's going to be sitting out in a 112 degree football game high school, bad, high school football, kind of thing, right.
Speaker 2:And metal bleachers.
Speaker 1:Yep and so that kind of stuff. But can you be in that moment and just be so joyful because God is so good?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, Because even that moment you'll never get it again. Never Can you be in that argument with your wife yeah, and you'll never get it again, yeah. So it's like, how do you approach that moment, those moments?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's. You know, when you said that and you're thinking about going back to a moment of like pain and a moment of hurt or whatever it is, and are you going to be okay in that moment, Are you going to be happy in that moment, Well, let's think about Jesus on the cross, that's one of the worst things, not one of.
Speaker 2:It is the worst thing that's ever happened to a human being. We literally killed God, literally killed God, right. But we go back to it and we find joy in it, we find happiness in it, we find peace and we find love and we find mercy in it. That's the single worst thing that's ever happened and we find the most love and the most joy and the most happy in it. And it's not the fact that what happened to him, it's the reasoning by yeah, it's the meaning behind it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Why he did it and I'm sure he is like this is the best. Yeah, this is the greatest moment of my life. Exactly, you know he's up there.
Speaker 2:You know he's saying God, why did you forsake me? Or father, why'd you forsake me? But in that same, in that same voice and that same toner, the same, that same sentence in his mind, he's like this is the greatest thing to ever happen to the world, yeah, Right. And so he is finding joy and peace. Because it's not. You know, yes, again, I'm going to go back and say it again. He didn't love us enough to die for us. He loved us enough to live for us. Yeah, but we would have. Jesus could have come and done all his teachings and got all his followers and all that stuff. But if he never would have died on the cross, what would it have meant? What would it have meant? Yeah, it wouldn't have meant anything. We'd have been just like this is another dude talking about how. But it wasn't just him dying on a cross, because, yeah, two people died on a cross next to him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's what he did afterwards. You know the actor, shia LaBeouf, yeah, so he actually just joined the Catholic Church recently and I saw this thing where he was sitting there just kind of contemplating and he was thinking about Jesus on the cross and he's like, and I look up at his face and I think, is that a joyful man?
Speaker 2:that. I see there yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, is he joyful? And it's such a weird thing right to think about? Because yeah, he's. Obviously he was way beat up yeah.
Speaker 2:I can tell you.
Speaker 1:He wasn't feeling joyful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, his physically he wasn't joyful because he was beating up again, the single worst thing that's ever happened. And so when you think about going back and and you know my wife and I have had plenty of arguments and we've had plenty of situations you know I spoke earlier on the podcast. I had an affair and I got a baby with another woman that calls my wife mommy and loves my wife and my wife. That's my wife's daughter, not her stepdaughter, that's her daughter. You know, and we've discussed this several times, just you and I about you know, but I can think back before they had that relationship.
Speaker 2:The thought of that child made my wife mad, it upset her because it brought her. Every time she thought of her she didn't. And it's not that she blamed my daughter, it's not that she blamed her, but every time she thought of my daughter, our daughter I can't say my daughter every time she thought of our daughter, she would think of that moment of how bad I hurt her. She saw the hurt in what I did to her, but she never took it out on our daughter. She would think of that moment of how bad I hurt her. She saw the hurt in what I did to her, but she never took it out on our daughter. She always loved our daughter, but now she's past that.
Speaker 1:I think God does that a lot in our lives. Yeah Right, if you don't know, you don't the if you've existed, the deeper in the darkness you've ever been. Like you know the light, all the more Right. So, so it's like you can think back at your, your most sinful moments and in those moments we should be able to draw like.
Speaker 1:We should be able to see jesus in those moments and and be so thankful for him right like I would not be in the place I am today if it wasn't for christ's love in my most sinful moments.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so those not that we should ever be proud, or whatever of the things that we've done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not what it's about.
Speaker 1:But we should always be able to see our salvation occurring in our worst moments.
Speaker 2:I love how you put that See our salvation in our worst moments.
Speaker 1:I love how you put that See our salvation in our worst moments, because that's the cross when I'm doing that thing that I should have never been doing. That's Jesus on the cross, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's literally why he did it. It's to take that away. It's to say it's mine now.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah, he took on sin. Who knew no sin, right? Yeah, and it's my sin, are the nails holding him on that thing? Yeah and so, yeah, it is definitely something to think of and like that's not easy. No, right, there is a lot of healing that has to happen for somebody to be able to see jesus in their most sinful moments but you can't heal without being hurt, correct you have to be hurt to heal.
Speaker 2:Well, he took all the hurt.
Speaker 1:He, he, he, he hurt more than any of us yeah, yeah, yeah, there's healing is a very interesting thing to me, and Christ healing us is a very interesting thing to me. It's something I think about a lot and I'm not very good at articulating all my thoughts and stuff. But it is interesting to me how I don't think we even know how to ask for healing. Oh man, you know what I mean. So it's like I've done this thing, I'm wounded, I need healing in this. I don't even know how to articulate my pain, I don't even know how to ask for help, I don't even know how to know that I need healing. But it's there and this is in all aspects of our life, all aspects of our relationship, relationships, everything. It's all there. And so you know, I guess God in his goodness, something will happen and the little light bulb turns on and you're like, oh yeah, I'm kind of messed up in this thing, yeah Right, but even at that it's hard to take that to prayer, and you and I were talking about prayer.
Speaker 1:The other day because prayer has to be this, not a monologue. It has to be a dialogue. You have to both speak and listen to God and you have to spend that time with him. And what is it that produces the healing?
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:Because I can understand a Band-Aid or medicine or something like that.
Speaker 1:I take this thing. This thing makes me better. I have surgery and the surgery makes me better. I can understand all that kind of stuff right, but I can't quite comprehend what it is and think how beautiful that is. The nearer I draw to God, the more he heals me, right. So it's like I have to be in relationship with Him, I have to draw close to Him, I have to spend time with Him, I have to experience Him for that healing to take place. But I can't articulate what the mechanism is that heals me, it's just His love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and maybe that's something to contemplate.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:When have you ever been loved? When you're at your worst and you go. I don't deserve this, but there's something about it that it makes you better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I love when you say you don't know how to ask for it. You know you're in something, but you don't even understand what. You're in enough to understand how to ask to get out of it. Yeah Right, you're just so messed up. It's kind of where I'm at now. And I'm not saying that I'm just so lost and backslidden from Christ. It's just I don't even know how to ask God where to put me, because I don't know where I belong.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and that's what hit me. So, so much is when you said that I was like I don't know how to ask God, where to put me, and I don't even know if I'm supposed to ask God where to put me.
Speaker 1:How am I supposed to know what I'm not supposed to know? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:But one of the stories again an experience in my life is my dad was a raging alcoholic growing up and I remember the moment that he the story that he tells you know about him stopping drinking. And I know my dad's not going to care me sharing this story because he wants, he's literally told me to share this story with because I'm an alcoholic as well and I quit drinking. So he wants me to share this story. So I know he's not going to care. He was in a bar and he got into a fight and he choked a guy to where the guy passed out and the guy they literally had to do CPR on the guy to bring the guy back to life Dang. So he out.
Speaker 2:And the guy they literally had to do cpr. And a guy to bring the guy back to life dang. So he technically killed this person. Yeah, he took this person's life because he was so drunk that he couldn't control himself. Well, I remember in the story he said he went back home that night and he was sitting on the edge of the bed and his hands were trembling because he realized that he just killed a man, you know, and his hands are just trembling. And he, in his words. He said I did not know how to ask for help.
Speaker 1:That's what he said.
Speaker 2:I did not know how to ask for help. So what he did? He just said God help me, Yep, and trusted God to know the rest, the rest.
Speaker 1:Yeah Amen. You know that gives me chills. I get chills thinking about that.
Speaker 2:My dad is as far away from Christ as you can get, even to this day, but he knew enough to know that. He didn't know how to ask for help, but he knew who to ask and I think that's and I'm not saying that works every time, but in that moment.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I think it might work every time it might, it might. Like I'm thinking about this. I'm like I think every single time I start prayer, I'm going to say God help me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Just help me and trust him to know the rest. Just help me and trust him to know the rest? Yeah, because he already knows the rest. Just trust him that he's going to lead you and guide you. That was 26 years ago. 26 years ago, my dad hadn't taken a drop. This guy drank every day of his life, from the time he was probably 14 to 26 years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And all he said was God help me. And he has never had the not saying that, he's never had the urge.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because he does have the urge. I quit drinking close to six years ago, but I still have the urge. I drink non-alcoholic beer because I love the taste of beer. I drink non-alcoholic whiskey because I love the taste of whiskey, but it's just non-alcoholic. Now I can drink it without having alcohol. But do you think I could have done that 30 days after I decided not to drink it? No, I couldn't have, because if I were to drink that non-alcoholic beer, I would have been like this, ain't it? I had to grow stronger, but I had to trust Christ that he was going to give me the strength I quit dipping and smoking.
Speaker 2:I dipped and smoked for I don't know. I started when I was 13 years old and my daughter's 20, and she asked me for her ninth birthday. She asked me to quit dipping and smoking. I was like oh my gosh, why didn't you ask for my Little Pony or something you know? Yeah. Why didn't you ask for a Power Wheel? Yeah. She asked me to quit dipping and smoking. Well, I quit, you know, because my daughter asked me to. So I didn't know how to ask, I didn't know what to do. I just did it, you know, but I just. When you said that I was like man. Two things flew into my mind. Is that story about my dad, he? He didn't know how to ask, but he knew who to ask. It's not about how, it's about who. And then I don't know how to ask, where I'm supposed to be right now, or if that's even the question that I'm supposed to ask, but I know who.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:So that's the answer. I think maybe God help me yeah, god help me, and then give me the rest, yeah, so it's again. Maybe we get so wrapped up in the God side and trying to understand the. God side and the fixing it and all that and just understanding that we're a human and we're just supposed to trust and obey.
Speaker 1:And he understands.
Speaker 2:He understands, he gets it. He is God. I'm pretty sure he understands the God side of it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and now. Next, I'm going to go back and read the garden scene, because he might have said the same thing he just said. He may have said God help me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I don't know he might have, I don't know. I got to go back and read it. That's great man.
Speaker 1:I've read it a couple times, but now off the top of my head, I can't remember if he didn't say God help me that's good, that's good, yeah. So yeah, this has been fun. You and I are going to talk again soon. We're going to talk about just something that builds off relationship, our relationships with each other, our relationships with the people around us relationship with our kids, something that had, again that had occurred to you, popped in your head, man, I don't know I was driving back from Ole Miss.
Speaker 1:Just the stuff that happens. So if you guys are interested, who are listening, to see what in the world that might be, you're going to have to come back next time. So I appreciate you, chris.
Speaker 2:Thanks for you, thanks for thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for thinking of me. Yeah, and uh, everyone, thanks for joining us. We'll see you next time, god bless.
